Can you create an interesting or in ANY WAY entertaining story using these random quotes?

Question

1) It always pays to tell the truth. I can see that now.
2) We come to visit you with peace and goodwill.
3) What the devil is this all about,why was I brought here?
4) What's this doohickey?
5) Women neen a reason for_____,men only need______.
6) Are you flesh or are you spirit?

Answer 1

Dodge City, Kansas

Circa 1876



"It Always Pays To Tell The Truth."



Festus came running into in the office of U.S. Marshal Matt Dillon, breathing hard and yelling:"Matthew!!! Come quick. There's a horrible fight going on down by the freight office, on Dead Stone Street."

As Matt grabbed his hat and started down there, Festus filled him in on the details.

Festus:"Matthew, it 'pears that Miss Kitty is at it agin!! She promised 2 different men that they could take her to the fair.....

An Apache brave and a cowpoke from the Eddie Haskell Bad *** Dude Ranch. I hope you get there in time!!"

Upon his arrival at the scene, Matt said,"(3) What the devil is this all about,why was I brought here?" He ducked just in time to escape a stray tomahawk!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWym9VOcfTs



Matt surveyed the bloody remains of the bloody fight.

"(4) What's this doohickey," he said, reaching down to pick up something from the dirt?

Festus: "Oh, that's one of the cowpoke's fingers."

Matt quickly dropped it and wiped his hands on Festus' back!

The Indian was still alive. With great effort, he raised his head and said:" (6) Are you flesh or are you spirit?"

Matt:" I am flesh. You're not dead.......yet."

The Apache:" (2) We come to visit you with peace and goodwill.

And this is what we get for our trouble!! Sheesh"



Matt left the clean-up to Newly and Festus and a few of the townsfolk.....as usual.....and went over to the LongBranch to confront Kitty. (It is well to note that Kitty is still broken hearted over the dissolution of their relationship.)

Matt:"KITTY!! Get over here!" Kitty dropped the tray of glasses she was carrying.

Kitty:" GOD! A little LOUDER, please!"

Matt: "Thanks to you and your absurd prattle with those two men you promised could escort you to the fair......" Kitty interrrupted.

Kitty: "Matt! You know perfectly well, I need an escort to festive events."

Matt:"Well, thanks to you, two men are dead!!!!"

Kitty ,seemingly uninterested , pinched her cheeks for a little color and batted her eyelashes at her old beau.

Kitty:" Listen , Matt. (5) Women need a reason for getting up in the morning. Men only need the possibility of getting laid!

Okay , Matt....Here's the deal. I really want YOU to take me to the fair. I only let them think I would go with one of them in my effort to make you jealous."

Matt just shook his head and started to leave. He stopped at the swinging doors and turned around to face her:

http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/james-arness-2.jpg



Matt: "Kitty....(1) It always pays to tell the truth."

Kitty: " (I) can see that now."

Answer 2

"What's this doohickey?", I screamed as I wrenched the strange object out of my backside.

" It always pays to tell the truth... I can see that now. But what I dont understand is what the devil is this all about and why have you brought me here???", I babbled.

I reached out my hand to touch the strange creature who stood in front of me.

"We come to visit you with peace and goodwill, and coffee!! The creature did not respond...

"Maybe you dont like coffee??? Are you flesh or are you a spirit??"

"Hello?" I said.. Are you in there??"

I didnt understand why I had been brought here, but if there is no coffee in the world it might not be a good place. Was I asleep or just on some really good drugs??? Maybe I was having a strange dream.... Do women really need a reason for sleep because men only need a bed.





Sorry not much to go on but the best I could do in 5 minutes....That women need a reason one was the hard one...

Answer 3

They were not alone... One moment they had been sipping Seven Eleven coffee in the parking lot of their towns greatest and only dining establishment (in fact the best eatery in the whole of Swampshit County, Alabama... the only other place to get hot food in the county was a Country Cooking diner on the interstate, and not even Alabama residents would sink that low)...and the next they were being sucked up in a green energy beam into a flying saucer.



They were laid side by side on a kinda operating table, both securely tied down and surrounded by short dangerous looking aliens in white medical coats. The man was asleep on his bed while the Woman had been trying to co-operate with her interrogators, after the probing to verify her species and role was compleated she had apologised profusely for her slight fibs regarding her actualy being the Queen of the Universe and a fellow alien from the planet Proxima... it had seemed a good idea at the time but these aliens hadnt been impressed and had probed her regardless:



"It always pays to tell the truth. I can see that now..." she muttered "...anyway, What the devil is all this about, why was i brought here? and whats this doohickey?" She nodded in the direction of the strange silver clipboard like thing in the closest aliens hand. The alien saw her interest and removed her wrist restraints before handing the clipboard (for such it indeed was) over to her.



"We come to visit you with peace and goodwill..." came the reply from the short and mostached alien "... and to ask you to help us fill in our pre-resident alien citizenship questionaires, if you and da other Gringo can just help us with these questions we will cut your lawn for free for six months...once we get our green cards."



The woman read out the first couple of questions out loud:



"Question one, fill in the blanks...Women need a reason for ___ men only need ____ . Question two, are you flesh or spirit? Question three, will you vote Republican?..." she looked puzzled "What kind of dumb *** questions are these? Why the probe? And why are you Greasers in a flying saucer anyway?"



The aliens confered briefly amoungst themselves before their leader spoke:



"damned if i know lady, ask the state department ***** who wrote the damn thing, as for the flying saucer...well how else do you expect 10 mexicans to cross the border these days? the probing we do cos we is kinda kinky. Want a Tequila?"

Answer 4

The large object he had seen earlier suddenly appeared again, but this time it seemed different. It was not zooming through the sky anymore. It was still very shinny, shinier than foil paper, but it was not as bright. The object was now dim. It would however pulse every now and then regaining its former glow. Sarah looked at her guide who was noting the differences in the object in his mind. She asked, "Is that what you were talking about Maz?" He answered, "No. This is different. It is doohickey. They come to take us away!"

"What's this doohickey?" It was already over them. It was already too late when Maz shouted, "Run! Sarah, run!" A great beam of light engulfed them. Then, all was black. They woke up together in the middle of a lush, green field. The sky was the brightest blue. But, the grass did not move. Nothing at all moved. They looked at each other and said nothing. Then a man appeared, wearing the traditional dress of Maz's tribe. He walked toward them, calmly. Sarah lunged at him and screamed, "What the devil is this all about, why was I brought here?" Maz caught her by the arm and pulled her back. The man spoke, "We come to visit you with peace and goodwill." Maz was amazed. He could not believe that he was in the presence of one of the great ancestors. He asked of the ancestor, "Are you flesh or are you spirit?" The ancestor answered, "Both of courses. The same as you." Sarah asked again, "Why are we here?" Maz yelled at her, "How dare you question the ancestor so disrespectfully?"

"Maz, this thing is not one of your ancestors!" The ancestor said, "It has always been so my son. Women need a reason for being here; men only need to be here. Nevertheless, It always pays to tell the truth, I can see that now." Maz asked, "Great ancestor what do you mean?"

"My son, she is correct. I am not one of your ancestors. Does it matter? It did not matter to your ancestors. Does it matter to you?" Maz answered, "No. I am ready."

"Very well." the ancestor said. Sarah pleaded, "Maz, you don't mean that!" All went black again. Sarah stood up from the very ground where she was taken from a second ago. She looked up and saw the object disappear into the storm clouds looming before her. She fell again to her knees and sobbed. It began to rain for the first time since she arrived there.

Answer 5

Cassie and Ali were walking threw a corn maze alone in the dark. They were talking about how Cassie messed up her relationship with her boyfriend after she had cheated on him "It always pays to tell the truth. I can see that now." she said. Then Ali said "Women need a reason for cheating, men only need excuses." Out of nowhere Cassie and Ali see something bright flying through the air. Then a saucer shaped ship came hovering down in front of them. Cassie and Ali stood there in aw wondering "Are we on Candid Camera or something?" But they weren't. The ship opened and an Alien looking creature appeared. Casie whispered to Ali, "Do u think he is human or a ghost?" and stupidly Ali yells, "Hey, are you flesh or spirit?". Then the creature looked confused and said, "We come to visit you with peace and goodwill." and then Cassie said,"That's a load of bullshit!" Then the creature looked like he got REALLY mad and some how Cassie and Ali ending up on the ship strapped to a pole. Once Cassie and Ali realized where they were Ali yelled, "What the devil is this all about,why was I brought here? Cassie's the one that said your peace and goodwill was bullshit!" The creatures came into the room and said, "You are here because we are holding an exsperement, we are comparing the reaction of teenage girls when they get captured by aliens to the reactions of teenage girls on other planets" Cassie muddered to Ali "Thats a dipshit idea" andAli nodded in agreement. "O and by the was we are not flesh nor spirit, we are IMMORTAL! So you will be stuck here for life, Enjoy!" The alien left and thats when Cassie and Ali knew they had to plan there escape. They quickly relized that the aliens had poor tieing skills and easily slipped out of the restrants they were in and looked for the control room of the ship. When they found the control room there was no aliens in the room but a lot of shinny butons. They heard the aliens in a nearby room celebrating so Casssie and Ali made sure they were quiet then Ali saw a BIG RED FLASHY BUTTON so Ali blurted out "What's this doohickey?" as she pressed the BIG RED FLASHY BUTTON. The ship started to fall out of the sky at the speed of light. So they found 2 spare parachutes in the corner and jumped of the ship. The ship landed in the Pacific Ocean and Cassie and Ali landed on the beach. Then Cassie and Ali walked home and said "So what are we doing tomarrow?!"

Answer 6

I was walking in the park one day with my gal, Sal when we came across a small round metallic object on the ground. "What's this doohickey?", she asked. Then, a door opened on the side & 3 little green aliens stepped out. Their leader raised his hand & addressed us, "Greetings, Earthlings. We come to visit you with peace & good will. Tell me, are you flesh or are you spirit?" We were too scared to even move & we could only stutter, "W-w-we're spirit", hoping that they'd leave us alone. Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light & then...

The next thing I knew, I found myself strapped to a table in some strange place. Sal was on a table next to mine, still unconscious. I asked out loud, "What the devil is this all about & why was I brought here?" But I got no answer. Then, I recognized the alien voices talking with one another. One of them said, "We've been studying these Earthlings for some time. They have many strange ways. For example, women need a reason for sex, men only need a visual cue or a mere thought". Then, one of them came into view, floating on some kind of hovercraft. He said to me, "Our telepathic abilities told us that you were hiding something. So, you've been beamed aboard the mother ship for further study". "Is this your idea of peace & good will? Let us go!", I demanded. Sal, who had just regained consciousness, joined in, "It always pays to tell the truth. I can see that now. So, will you please just let us go?!" The alien said, "Very well then. You are obviously unfit subjects". We saw the same blinding flash & found our selves back in the park. The small space ship was gone. Sal asked me, "Do you believe what just happened?" I replied, "I'm not sure I do. We'd better keep this to ourselves. People will think we're crazy for sure!" Sal said, "And they'll probably be right!" Then we laughed & decided to go have lunch.

Answer 7

"(5)Women need a reason for taking their clothes off, men only need and excuse", said Tyler, as he was clicking away as it neared the end of the photoshoot.



Anthony was watching the entire production leaning back on his chair, and once again he realized that it never seized to amaze him how talented this girl was. She was modeling the latest chiffon and tulle emsembles. With her hair in ringlets and the fabric of her gown floating in the wind that was created by the fans the crew put around her, she literally looked ethereal. "(6) Are you flesh or are you spirit?", he asked the girl, though he knew she wouldn't hear her over the Enya song blasting through the speakers.

The entire theme of the photoshoot was produced to ignite an out-of-this-world sensation for the viewers. There were extras dresses as aliens from deep space that carried signs that said;"(2)We come to visit you with peace and goodwill'.



Anthony rolles his eyes and thought that barely fell short of the cliche"Take me to your leader", one.



Not two minutes had passed after Tyler called "That's a wrap", that they heard the squealing of Marissa demanding to know, "(4)What's this doohickey?" as she kept holding a couture gown in an arms lenght, using her thumb and index finger asif she were holding a dirty diaper.

Tyler groaned, "Would you please cut the diva, crap, the shoot is a wrap and Anastacia did an amazing job, I don't want you to ruin everybody's mood with your bickering about the wardrobe one more time. This attitude is the main reason why you weren't booked for this shoot to begin with."



Marissa was another model-in-demand, who also happenned to be sleeping with Tyler, and all through out the three day shoot, her nagging and petty attempts to find fault in every piece and look, was taking its toll on the crew. Thank God the shoot was finished successfully, but no thanks to Marissa's help.



Tyler figured he can't go through another assignment with Marissa and her attitude, so he decided to end it before it got even more complicated. Which was a bummer because she was amazing in bed, yet, the man needed some peace of mind desperately, so he told his first assistant to let Marissa know that he was expecting to meet her in his trailer in ten minutes.



Marissa was brimming with jelousy for having lost the job to Anastacia and she wasn't even sophisticated enough to conceal her feelings while she was interacting with the crew. Once Tyler's assistant, Eddie led her into the trailer that he was using as a temporary office, she shook her arm free of Eddie's grip, and turned to Tyler with a beet-red face,"(3)What the devil is this all about, why was I brought here?"



Tyler took a deep breath to calm his nerves down, he really didn't need this after all that hard work but this conversation was long past due,"Listen, darling. You are a remarkable woman, however this wasn't a job you were booked for, therefore there was no reason for you to be here" He raised his hand to silence her gently, when he saw she opened her mouth to protest,"Let me finish what I have to say first.

This is what I do, Marissa. This is my life, and my art, my carreer. When you volunteered to come along on location with me, I should have known how complicated this would become, yet I still let you come with us because you sounded so adament in your desire to help me and be a part of the production. We all saw that things didn't quite turn out that way. Your diva-like attitude and your mood swings have made everyone on the crew nervous. I am responsible for my crew and I can't let this repeat ever again. So, as great as you genuinely are, you and I are going to have to part company now."



Marissa looked taken aback, apparently she was counting on her power over him too much to foresee Tyler's reaction, Inside, she couldn't blame him , she knew he was right, but that didn't take anything away from the burning humiliation she felt for being so blatantly dumped. The crew would have a field day with this, and it would be all over the tabloids by the time they got back. She was seing red, so in a split second she raised her hand and slapped Tyler across the face as hard as she could, and left his trailer in a daze of unverbalized rage.



Tyler let his head fall back and let out a deep breath he hadn't even realized that he was holding. This break-up was going to be a little messier than he had initially anticipated, but the hardest part was over, and finally he would have some peace of mind, then he caught his own reflection on the mirror and said to it,"Well, it had to be done,(1)It always pays to tell the truth, I can see that now. No more games, just straight truth".

THE END

Answer 8

ok. 5.) Theres in simple terms one constructive advance into to do t! First you (manage) 3.) life (like) 2.) Its all interior the sport of love. 4.0 It wasnt the 1st time he had dodged a bullet. a million.) What Lola needs Lola gets.