Question:
4 lines only, could you please help me and check the grammar/wording/structure?
2009-10-05 21:42:06 UTC
I'm applying for computer programming jobs and this is gonna be in my resume. so any suggestion is appreciated. thanks all


Interests and hobbies:

Writing Java applications and reverse engineering codes, strictly for experiment

Researching and testing new preventive maintenance technology to improve my skills in reducing machine downtime

Assisting colleagues at Seneca College to solve computer problems including; OS, printing issues, configuring laptop software and recovering lost data

Playing soccer, and I like hanging-out with friends as well as making new friends
Five answers:
2009-10-05 21:56:52 UTC
I made a few changes. Hope it helps! :)



"Writing Java applications and reverse engineering codes, strictly for experimentation purposes.



Researching on and testing out new preventive maintenance technology to improve my skills in reducing machine downtime.



Assisting colleagues at Seneca College in solving computer-related problems, including OS, printing issues, configuring laptop software and recovering lost data.



Playing soccer and spending time with friends.



Networking and expanding my circle of friends."
Jim
2009-10-05 21:59:16 UTC
In the first sentence, drop the "strictly for experiment" Reverse engineering code is a separate subject from java applications



Writing Java applications (using what kind of sofware?)

Reverse engineering (what kind of code?)



Second sentence is run-on...you are trying to say too much!



Researching and testing new preventative maintenance technology.



Assisting colleagues at Seneca College to remediate computer problems. (drop the rest of it)



Playing soccer (drop the hanging out thing)



Now for my comments:



Do not use run-on sentences, it makes you sound like you are rambling. Keep each statement SHORT, SIMPLE, BRIEF, ELOQUENT.



The reviewer of your resume could give a damned less if you like to make friends - doesn't everyone? It's a moot point and useless language.



Don't try to throw a bunch of example stuff in, like OS, printing issues, configuration...blach blah.



The interview is what you are trying to get, later during the interview you can fill in the blanks with these other details, but please, do not bore people with trivia! It is always better to keep it simple stupid, direct, concise, no BS. Make each word a power word, make it count! What employers want to see are ACTION WORDS. They want to see ACCOMPLISHMENTS. They want to see how you are an ASSET. So talk about things that MADE MONEY for the school, that show ambition and discipline, direction, goal orientation, a positive attitude, constructive, efficiency, team player, organizer, listening skills, - I want you to think hard about those things I just mentioned and go back now and re-write this section. What kind of Java Compiler are you using to create Java with? Employers want to know what skills you have in specific pieces of software - because, they just might be using that very software and they will hire you if they know you know how to use it! See?



Writing applications in Microsoft Access 2007 Visual Basic for Applications.



This is the kind of example you need to be stating. Millions of people can write java code - but can millions of people create the specific java you have created? What is unique about what YOU can do? Tell them just enough to TEASE them into asking you in for an interview.

Do not give them the whole ball of wax.



Now rethink and rewrite your resume again.
2016-04-06 11:00:00 UTC
I haven't received my check either. The best time to call is after 8 or 9p. My check was supposedly mailed July 11, and the IRS told me that they could not track my check until August 11. So I just have wait.
PiNkPriNc3Ss_08
2009-10-05 21:55:21 UTC
Hey! I think right before your list in the 3rd line of the resume you should use a colon (:) instead of a semi-colon. Also, I wouldn't write "hanging-out with friends."..just put meeting new people. It sounds more professional. Just a couple suggestions...other than that, it looks great! Good luck with the position! :)
Tom
2009-10-05 21:52:36 UTC
Separate it into "Interests" and "Hobbies". See if you can come up with a second item to list under "Hobbies" with soccer and take out the references to current and new friends. Maybe you can come up with a second one based on wherever it is you go with your friends or go to meet new people...even if you have to be REALLY creative with it. : D


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