4 lines only! please can someone check the my grammar/wording?

Question

this is going to be on my resume

Interests and hobbies:

Writing Java application and reverse engineering codes, strictly for experiment

Researching and testing any new preventive maintenance technology to improve skills/experiences in reducing machine downtime

Helping many friends at Seneca College to solve computer problems (OS/printing issues/configuring laptop software) and recover any lost data

Playing soccer, and I like to hang-out with friends and to making new friends


thanks everyone!

Answer 1

The changes I've made are in CAPITALS:



Interests and hobbies:



Writing Java applicationS and reverse engineering codes, strictly EXPERIMENTALLY.



Researching and testing (DELETED) new preventive maintenance technology to improve MY skills(DELETED) in reducing machine downtime.



Helping many friends at Seneca College (DELETED) solve computer problems (OS/printing issues/configuring laptop software) and recover (DELETED) lost data.



Playing soccer, and (DELETED) making new friends.

Answer 2

In the first sentence, drop the "strictly for experiment" Reverse engineering code is a separate subject from java applications Writing Java applications (using what kind of sofware?) Reverse engineering (what kind of code?) Second sentence is run-on...you are trying to say too much! Researching and testing new preventative maintenance technology. Assisting colleagues at Seneca College to remediate computer problems. (drop the rest of it) Playing soccer (drop the hanging out thing) Now for my comments: Do not use run-on sentences, it makes you sound like you are rambling. Keep each statement SHORT, SIMPLE, BRIEF, ELOQUENT. The reviewer of your resume could give a damned less if you like to make friends - doesn't everyone? It's a moot point and useless language. Don't try to throw a bunch of example stuff in, like OS, printing issues, configuration...blach blah. The interview is what you are trying to get, later during the interview you can fill in the blanks with these other details, but please, do not bore people with trivia! It is always better to keep it simple stupid, direct, concise, no BS. Make each word a power word, make it count! What employers want to see are ACTION WORDS. They want to see ACCOMPLISHMENTS. They want to see how you are an ASSET. So talk about things that MADE MONEY for the school, that show ambition and discipline, direction, goal orientation, a positive attitude, constructive, efficiency, team player, organizer, listening skills, - I want you to think hard about those things I just mentioned and go back now and re-write this section. What kind of Java Compiler are you using to create Java with? Employers want to know what skills you have in specific pieces of software - because, they just might be using that very software and they will hire you if they know you know how to use it! See? Writing applications in Microsoft Access 2007 Visual Basic for Applications. This is the kind of example you need to be stating. Millions of people can write java code - but can millions of people create the specific java you have created? What is unique about what YOU can do? Tell them just enough to TEASE them into asking you in for an interview. Do not give them the whole ball of wax. Now rethink and rewrite your resume again.

Answer 3

The tech-talk is a bit over my head, but it looks very impressive. I like the last bit. Makes you seem un-nerdy. Go with it!