How should this sentence be written?

Question

The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly, which mirrored Tuckman's theory.

I know this is correct. Having the comma before 'which' sets off the non-restrictive clause. However, I was just wondering if the sentence may be changed to this (I know it may not sound as good, but I was curious if it is correct, nonetheless).

The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly mirroring Tuckman's theory.

Does there need to be a conjunction (which) between slightly and mirroring? I know that all the words preceeding 'mirroring' is an independent clause; so does this mean that the words after this can just be attatched to the independent clause, or does it need to have a conjunction like which to make it a phrase that is connected to the clause. Could someone with knowlege on the subject please let me know. Thanks a lot!

P.s. I know that rewriting the sentence would be best. But I need to know if what I am asking is correct, and why.

Answer 1

The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly. This mirrored Tuckman's theory. What did? The brainstorming? That doesn't make sense. What mirrored Tuckman's theory? I know it certainly wasn't the laborious undertaking of brainstorming. Your sentence doesn't have a solid meaning. I would say this is better:



The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly, and some of our conclusions mirrored Tuckman's theory.



Oh, then there's this depending on your meaning:



The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly, and this realization mirrored Tuckman's theory.



Commas: Not good to slice the last 25% or less of a sentence off with a comma. It looks very strange, and it's not very harmonious or rhythmic. Balance is always preferred when it comes to commas for the sake of art. Near to the middle of the sentence for a pause. Not the last 25%. Looks weird.



Ahhhhh... Much better.

Answer 2

Yes. It's a much better sentence. The only addition that I would make is a comma after morale.



The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale, slightly mirroring Tuckman's theory.



Edit:

Apologies. The comma should be after slightly.



The laborious undertaking of brainstorming weakened our morale slightly, mirroring Tuckman's theory.

Answer 3

See how important is the comma! The answerer above, by placing the comma after morale rather than after slightly, entirely changes the meaning of the sentence. However, you definitely need a comma in this sentence.

Answer 4

Another reason that a rebellion is not likely to happen is the animals do not have a good leader to direct them in a rebellion.