Please tell me if this is good or not!!!?

Question

we have to write persuasive speeches and present them to the school.... this is my rough draft


Everyday students get up and go to school to learn and socialize with others. Now imagine that everyday, until you are 18 years of age, you wake up and stay at home all day not being able to see anyone but your family. That’s the life of 1 million 36 thousand children today. I believe that home schooling deprives children of social opportunities and needs.
Students all over America go to school for academic priorities, but while they are there they also learn how to deal with peer pressure, bullying, and other real life situations. Home-schooled children on the other hand don’t experience any of these scary, but very helpful situations. Over time these home-schooled children become unaware of how to act and communicate with the outside world. Along with this home schoolers also tend to become very sensitive and immune to reality. They are easily upset and over react about the smallest of things. Not only will these children not know how to act in public, but they also become very narrow minded. When you spend every waking moment with your family and the same people are teaching you throughout your life you will not be able to view and understand other peoples views, and you wont be able to make up your own mind to make your own decisions or have your own opinions. Do you really want to fallow every idea of your parents? One reason many parents home school is because they want to protect and shelter their children. This may seem like a good reason but sending your child to public school will teach them how to deal with scary and uncomfortable situations at a younger age so when it is time for them to move off on their own they are ready and capable of doing so.
My cousins, ages 13 and 11 are perfect examples of this. They have been home schooled for their whole lives. They don’t act well at all with the people around them and easily get worked up. They also act many years younger than they really are. The 11 year old also does not speak properly and is very difficult to understand. Along with this they often complain of having too much work or having to get up early, early sometimes-meaning 9 AM. Now, as a public schooled student we have at least two times the amount of work home schooled children do and some of us have to get up as early as 5:30 AM. Which brings me to my next reasoning.
Not only will home-schooled children have trouble socializing, they also do not have as good academic opportunities. Amanda Mazura once stated that these days’ harder curriculum's are being taught in lower grades than they were 20-30 years ago, around when these children’s parents were still in school. If these parents don’t know how to teach their children’s academics properly, then the child isn’t learning as much as he or she should be. Most of these parents never went to school or college for teaching. Along with this, right now the state of New Hampshire is trying to pass a bill requiring home-schooled children to take standardized state tests just like the students attending public or private schools. What if the child isn’t ready for the test and it is too hard? Or in their opinion too much work? Should they deserve an easier test? I don’t think so. Public schooled children try so hard academically to get through their school career and excel. Home schoolers shouldn’t be allowed to take the easy road! Another advantage that public schooled students also have is free technology programs. They learn how to do online research, be safe on the Internet, and so much more, while home schooled children don’t necessarily have that advantage. Now what about after high school? Many colleges will not accept home schoolers for various reasons. Wouldn’t you like your child to be able to be able to go to the college of their choice and have the best academics possible?
Time. What about time? If you are a parent home schooling your child you have to devote almost 80% of your time to teaching, getting supplies, making space, setting up lessons, supplying books, and also if you’d like, setting up fun and educational field trips. Not only this, but you will also be spending almost all of your time with your family. Yes, this will let you bond with your family and through time become very close and open with each other but is that all really worth it when it comes down to stress? Daniel Applegate once stated that home-schooled families are more likely to have stress within the household. Family or not, lets face it, we all need a break from certain people after a long day, but not only will stress become difficult within the family, so will finances.
At least one parent will have to be unemployed in a home-schooled family. In this economy, today being unemployed is one of the biggest struggles. Not only do home schooling parents have to keep up bills and taxes but now they have to feed their children 3 meals a day, have scho

Answer 1

No, it is not well written. It is based on myth and stereotype rather than fact, and is full of inaccuracies and ignorance.



It shows that you did very little research. For that fact alone, if you handed me this piece of work I would reject it.

Answer 2

Ok this is coming from a 14 year old homeschooler that lives in NH.



I have to say that I disagree with your whole point of view at homeschooling.



If your public schooled, you learn at an early age about sex, racism, sexism, drugs, smoking, etc. Children shouldn't be learning all of that at the age of 12. That is one reason why homeschooling is better. But I really don't want to waste my time on this issue because it is pathetic.



All I know is that my parents have been paying the bills, I am getting through school easily, I am well socialized, (who said talking to your family is anti-social? As long as your talking to someone, your being social.) and I am on many sports teams too.

As far as I'm concerned, you have no clue what homeschooling is and you don't have enough facts to back up your essay.



F-

Answer 3

you should indent when you start a new paragraph. I didn't read the whole thing but your first paragraph makes me want to read on! good luck! Oh! and maybe you should print it out and hand it to a parent or another person, and maybe they can spot something!

Answer 4

I read the first few lines and gave up. You can't blame homeschooling. Your teacher will have to decide if it's a good speech.

Answer 5

call me