I'm writing this captizating (X) tale on a spare piece of paper, hoping that someone can read this in the future and know the full truth.
We were all going to die going over Chippiwa Falls (X). I'm usually not one to point fingers, but I blamed Calamity Jane (X) and Captain Morgan (X) above all the others.
I'll start at the beginning, where I guess all stories should start.
We were leaving Desoto in our small schooner, hoping to reach the fertile fishing grounds that an Australian captain that told us about. What was his name Captain Wallaby, Captain Kangaroo (X), Captain Dingo? I'm not really sure, but he told us about this fertile fishing ground just a few miles out.
I'm not really sure what happened, but we got lost in the river (Which was difficult since there were no side branches and the river only went one way). The crew kept eating the local plants whenever they could, though the cactus occasionally gave supposed captivating (X) vision and frightening sites. We grew accustomed to it and even joked at calling it cactus fever (X)
At the time, we were under a good man. He wasn't really a bright man. One night, a long time ago, a crewman bet the captain that he wouldn't fight an alligator. Many pints of ale later, the captain did it. The alligator got his left leg. Against his protests (claiming he had the gator on the run) we pulled him out. After he came back with a peg leg, we called him Captain Crunch (X).
Well, one night, in the height of a cactus fever, we lost the captain overboard. No one actually knew about it until the next morning. For about two days now, we've been lead by his former first mate, Morgan.
Morgan had this girlfriend who went with him everywhere, even sailing. It was unusual, but we all jsut went along with it. Her name was Jane.
Well, Jane was a nice girl and all, but she was prone to accidents. Everywhere she went, disaster followed. It got to the point where we would jsut call her Calamity Jane.
About two days after Captain Morgan was named our new leader, Calamity Jane went up to him at nightfall (Last night). The bridge of the ship was empty except for them. He was piloting and she was dressed in almsot nothing.
I was mopping the decks at the time and heard the exchange. The reason that I said the two were alone was because msot people on the ship don't really count the mop boy as a person.
"How powerful you look, great captain." Jane told him.
"Can it sister (X)." Captain Morgan told her, his voice filled with the superiority of his rank and the playfulness of a lover.
She massaged his arm. "So strong, manning the sails all day. I guess now you really are the captain of my heart (X)"
"Captain, at least." He said, the rank in his voice lost at her touch.
Their flirting continued for several minutes before I finished mopping. The last that I heard of the exchange, she was pulling him by the sleeve and saying "Can we talk(X), alone, in your quarters, probably for a good hour? Maybe Two?"
I didn't wait to hear his reply, but went directly to sleep. In the morning, I awoken by the sound of rushing water and a loud voice screaming "All hands on deck. Calling all hands(X) on deck?"
I rushed to see the problem. The captain pushed me out of the way, straightening his clothing. Upon seeing this, I knew what the problem was. Captain Morgan had abandoned his post without putting in a replacement. The ship had drifted all night.
Only when I got on deck did I realize the true extent of our predicament. Somehow, we had come across a waterfall that was not on any map. Right before I started writing this, the captain smiled and named the waterfalls Chippiwa Falls, after the trieb of natives in the area.
I guess it's good that the captain was naming our grave site, but somehow I wish I could have gotten a job on the other boats under some other captains.
I mean Captain Bud was wiser, Captain Miller sailed smooth in the waters, and Captain Daniels was a jack of all trades.
But, I had to take a trip with Captain Morgan. If this idiot could have been captain, i guess there's a little captain in all of us.